Wrestle

Last summer I wrote a blog post on our foundation’s website about leaving our burdens at the foot of the cross and allowing God to work it out (http://laylaslegacy.org/blind-faith/ ‎). At the time I knew that Layla would be healed of her cancer and we would proclaim God’s miracle from the rooftops. But here we are nine months later and Layla is no longer here on earth. She was healed, but not on this side of Heaven. Such an experience often leads us to the same question: Why?

Why wouldn’t God heal her and allow her to stay with us on earth? Why does God allow people to suffer? Why does God seem silent when we cry out for help? How many times have you cried out to God asking Why?

Many times our tendency is to try and answer that question for God, as if it’s a rhetorical question. We don’t really expect God to answer so we attempt to work it out on our own. I know for me, there’s a degree of fear in asking God for an answer to my difficult questions. Not because I’m afraid of what the answer will be, but for fear of appearing to lack faith. If I truly believe God is God then I must accept whatever His reasons are, right? This couldn’t be further from the truth. We can see all throughout scripture where disciples and Jesus’ followers ask questions when they don’t understand. They’re not struck down or brushed aside. Instead, Jesus uses the opportunity to reveal more truths about Himself.

“Feeling conflicted or confused is not the same as faithlessness. It takes faith to wrestle with doubt.” – Beth Moore, The Quest

Think about a close relationship you have. Whether it’s your spouse, a parent or a friend there is one thing those relationships all have in common: questions. I highly doubt you became close with that person by never asking questions, right? Questions are how we gain intimacy with one another. We learn more and more each time we inquire and receive new information about a person. The same applies to our relationship with God. As we ask questions and allow His truths to be revealed to us we gain a deeper and deeper intimacy with Him.

Through asking questions and discovering who He is, we draw closer to Him. Our faith is strengthened through conversation. I’ll admit, there are days I feel like I’m doing all the talking, but I know He’s listening. And when I’m doing the listening I hear His replies. Just like a good friend, He doesn’t always give me the answer I want to hear. Sometimes we need to hear hard truths or direction we prefer to ignore in order to move forward. Don’t hesitate to ask the question for fear of seeming to lack faith. God already knows what is on your heart. Your questions are not news to Him and He’s been waiting to have that conversation with you.

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