Today is January 6, 2025. Exactly one week from my 45th birthday and by most statistics I’m officially halfway through my life. At first, that thought unnerved me a bit as I started a mental checklist of all the things I still wanted to do and a mild panic that my life is already HALF OVER! But then I stopped myself mid spiral with the realization that this next half is where stuff gets GOOD! There are no more years spent in childhood or being a young adult trying to figure out who I am. My kids are at great ages where they’re self-sufficient to a point yet haven’t reached those teenage angst years. No more diapers or daycare or sleepless nights. I know what I’m good at, what I’m capable of, and who my friends are. I know ME.
So here we are (or at least here I am). It’s been over 5 years since I sat down and did any real writing, but I think most would agree it feels like we’ve lived several lifetimes since 2020. I know I have. And while it often felt like I was taking two steps forward and one step back, things have, in fact, come full circle. In these 5 years I’ve been divorced, moved (3 times!), renovated a home, lost my mom, excelled in my career, made new friends, lost old friends, and did lots and LOTS of therapy.
I continue to be in “control freak recovery”, but like all recovery programs it’s never a linear progression. I try, I fail, I learn. Repeat. Even if I’ve had to “learn” the same things multiple times before I stopped failing at them, each time I started over with a little bit more experience in my pocket and insight into myself. And I know that the learning is the most important part because if we stop after failing, we’re telling the universe that where we are is good enough when the reality is there is so much more than “good enough” available.
I’m excited for this next half. I’m excited to be writing again. I’m excited to see what’s next!
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